Havea and Elloise Kaho

Havea and Elloise Kaho are a little newer to Citylights Church, having been attending here for the last two years or so.

They are a younger married couple who have been together for about 15 years, married for about three. And there have been a lot of ups and downs in that journey.

They for a long time were looking for fulfillment in their social life, which included a lot of social drinking and partying. And in a worldly sense, they felt like they were having fun. Except that they also knew that they weren’t really.

As Elloise was approaching her 30th birthday a few years ago, she was planning and thinking she needed to have a big blowout party. She thought that is what she wanted and was supposed to do.

At the same time though, she knew God was working on her and telling her there was something better, that this lifestyle wasn’t actually fulfilling for them.

Amid all the partying, Elloise and Havea were having a hard time in their marriage, with communication problems, not feeling like they were really connected. She said she was trying to control him and he wasn’t really communicating back to her. And so things were harder than they wanted to admit.

For a long time they had been going to Havea’s families church, a Tongan Methodist Church. But Elloise felt a little on the outside there, culturally, and Havea knew he was just going through the motions there because he’d always gone there with family. It’s a good church but it was more just a social family event for them. 

Then one day a couple years ago they were going through a particular hard time. Havea’s brother had been hit by a car and injured on Saturday night. And then Sunday morning they were taking a walk with their dog and came across CitylightsChurch having services outside. So they wandered in and when they were able to ask for prayer at the end of the service, it got their attention. 

When Havea’s brother recovered that definitely felt like an answer to prayer, but they didn’t immediately start attending Citylightseven though it was very close to their house. 

All of that did come in time though. With that 30th birthday party in the works, Elloise felt God telling her no you don’t need to do that, you don’t even really want to do that. She felt God saying there’s another way to go.

Thankfully Havea was feeling the same way and they together decided they needed to try a different and narrower path, as Havea puts it. 

So they started attending Citylightsregularly and have seen and felt a real difference in their life and in their marriage. And it hasn’t all been easy. There have been real adjustments with friends and family, and not all of it has been perfect. 

Many of them wondered why they wouldn’t party the same way anymore, like where was the 30th birthday party they were looking forward to and such. And those kinds of adjustments aren’t easy.

But thankfully a lot of it is turning out to be good given time. Many of their friends and family notice that they are different now, less stressed about life, able to find joy, able to avoid bad situations. And that’s even drawing some of them back to church along with Havea and Elloise, especially Elloise’s brother.

So while it wasn’t easy from the start, it has been good. They have felt felt a real sense of release and letting go and letting God. And the family atmosphere at City lights, where nobody’s perfect and nobody’s expected to be, and we’re all just trying to be a part of God’s family together, all of that is helping them appreciate this new path.

And so now they still see family and go to events, but in a healthier way. And they are very happy to have their Citylightsfamily. Most of all,it’s strengthened and transformed their marriage.

They give all praise to God and are thankful to Him for guiding them through all this. And we’re glad to have them.